Her Fashion Blog: The 12 Dark and Dirty Secrets of Women

We women are fascinating creatures. Just when men think they know everything about us, they find out one of the following about us. Here are 12 things that we do that we like to keep secret from the man in our lives….

Lie. Not about anything important, just little white lies. In my case it’s mostly to make my day sound like it’s worse than his. If he didn’t have a chance to eat much for dinner, then I didn’t eat anything at all. If he woke up at 6am and had a bad nights sleep, then I woke up at 5.30am but didn’t get to sleep until 1am. If he’s been sick 3 times due to a bug/hangover then I’ve been sick 5 times. Don’t know why we do it, but we do.

Shave and/or pluck our toe hairs. Come on girls, we all do it. And we’ve all had that nervous moment when we’re chilling, fella by our side, feet up on the sofa and….shit! We’ve forgot to do that very thing this week and we resemble a gorilla. Slowly bring your feet back towards you (so that he doesn’t notice) and quickly run upstairs to find some socks to hide it.

Wax/Hair Removal our tache. I know deep down they probably know we do it but I can’t help but hide the aftermath (that huge red patch) for as long as possible.

That stray chin hair. Or any other stray hair we all have somewhere on our body. Whether it’s that thick, black one that we’ll forget about until it catches our eye in the rear view mirror (anywhere where there are no tweezers to hand), the crazy long underarm hair that your razor never reaches or that freakily disguised, blonde hair that we find growing from our arms, tummy or boobs.

Now the majority of men believe that us women are on top form when it comes to our hygiene and of course, in most areas we are. That is until it comes to the subject of our bras. The bra that our mister thinks we wash after every wear when in fact, it’s lucky to see the washing machine in a month.

The usual bad habits. Burping, farting and picking your nose. For some of you that are already at ‘that stage’ in your relationship this is just a normal, everyday occurrence but for the girls who aren’t, the thought of being caught doing any of the above is just unthinkable. Particuarly when it comes to farting, you can guarantee that rather than be a gentleman and pretend he hasn’t heard or smelt anything; he will of course go that extra mile in making you absolutely mortified — opening windows, wafting doors, holding his nose…the lot.

Telling our friends everything. To men, we women talk a lot. My boyfriend is always astonished that my mam and I can make a telephone conversation last almost two hours. However, I don’t think they understand quite how much spills out of our mouths when we’re deep in conversation with our friends.

Girl problems. Thrush, Bacterial Vaginsosis, periods….all issues that women have to encounter on a regular basis but never discuss with our other halves. The most my boyfriend will get from me is that ‘I’m just not right down there’, he then knows not to ask any further questions. If men really knew what went on ‘down there’, they’d either applaud us for being so friggin’ amazing or run for the hills at the thought of it all.

We’re creative. It’s always when you’re out, totally unprepared that your body decides it’s time to start your period. Great. So what do we do? We get creative, roll up some tissue and voila! Something men  would never ever understand.

We talk to other men. If you’re out on a Saturday night and a man approaches you, you don’t automatically jump back, put your fists up and say ‘Stand back, I have a boyfriend!’ now, do you? (Although that may be what you tell your other half). Instead, you have a chat, a bit of a laugh, some of you may even have a dance off. It’s all honest fun that we forget to mention the next day.

We like to be alone. They arrange a boys night out and you’ll either act miserable and say you’ll miss him, act as though you’re in a huff because you’ve haven’t had a night out in aaaaages or play it cool and act like it doesn’t make any difference in your busy schedule but; what you’re really thinking it…»Woooohoooo! I’ve got a whole night to myself. I can watch whatever T.V I want and do all of the above without him knowing.’

We check ourselves out mid crying session. So something terrible has happened, you’re hysterical and you’re sitting near a mirror. Of course you’re going to see what you look like when you cry (you couldn’t bare it if you looked like Kim K). We don’t tell men this because well…..it’s weird.

And they think we have no secrets from them. What do you do that you would never want your boyfriend/fiance/husband to know?

Lots of Love

D

xxx